Chrome Bag
So, over spring break I received my lovely new chrome bag. It is bright orange and lovely. I also endured a low grade cold, and my hate for driving in downtown Saint Paul, or in Minneapolis in general, or in any place with WAY TOO MANY ONE WAYS, was rekindled.
First, a review of the Chrome bag. This is with the caveat that I haven’t actually managed to go biking in it yet. The inaugural ride is planned for Thursday, when I will be going to set up for Anime Detour. So carrying and walking review only right now.
This is a lovely bag. Well-designed for it’s purpose, well constructed, and actually has enough padding on the strap. For the record, I have a Metropolis, and I got the cellphone “thong” as a friend of mine calls it. I generally *really* like the design. It packs well, and I really look forward to biking with it. I used it as a bag to carry everything back to college, and while my laundry was in a hamper, everything else (All four classes worth of books, various miscellanea like an alarm clock, chargers, dopp kit, etc, computer and computer miscellanea, and some programming books.) It fit it all. Heck, my little brother (6, tall) fits in this bag. (And I could carry him around, were I so inclined to do so.)
Now, for the cons. This is not particularly designed for a woman, or not at least for a woman with real, honest to goodness boobs. (This is a failing of Chrome in general, and the general cycling industry to some extent. I would love some of their super expensive garb as well as the bags if only their pants were cut for women. With hips. And butts.) My friend H and I both got Chrome bags around the same time, and we’ve had to develop some tricks to accommodate the girls. Now, the reverse-amazonian is a trap many messenger bags fall into, but because of Chrome’s particular quirks (ie, the way the strap wraps around the torso), the reverse-amazonian is particularly dire.
(The etymology of the phrase reverse amazonian comes from the Greek myth that Amazons cut off one breast in order to shoot better. In the reverse-amazonian, the bag strap acts as a large underwire, and raises one breast noticeably above the other.)
The solution so far is to use that little stabilizing strap, yes, that one that the internets is griping about as superfluous. Attach that and tighten it so that the strap is pulled away from the breast. Otherwise, I have found that large strap a handy place to rest one’s hand– and pull it away from the breast.
Second grip is the intended placement of the cellphone thong. In all the promotional photos, the men in the photos (and it’s all men, by the by.) appear to have attached the cellphone thong to the arrangement of velcro on the large strap by one’s shoulder. All the men of my acquaintance with Chromes do this as well. However, and this appears to be a female quirk, perhaps because of our boobs, having the cellphone thong in this position seems strangely close to the face. I have instead attached the thong to the seatbelt strap, down by my hip. It slides around some, but is quite easy to grab.
On the other hand, I haven’t had anyone grab for the push button, perhaps because of it’s placement in the depths of my cleavage, and polite people don’t generally put their hands on a woman’s chest without asking, unlike my poor male colleges.
In other words, I had a small misunderstanding with my philosophy professor over my use of the word ‘vacous’. In philosophy terms, that’s insulting, implying an empty head and stupidity. In math terms, it’s a superfluous, empty, proof, generally without the side helping of offense. I used it in the latter, he heard it in the former. Thankfully it was easily cleared up.
