building one’s self up by the bootstraps
No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else’s heart
Pumping someone else’s blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don’t get harmed
But even if it does
You’ll just do it all again
“This is how it works” by Regina Spektor
This has been a bit of an internal anthem for me for a while, and I was reminded of it again today.
Today, I made it clear to a friend of mine that I wasn’t romantically interested in him. I’m really bad at doing this sort of thing, because I hate making my friends feel badly. But I was leading him on, however inadvertently, and he’s my friend. You don’t jerk friends around.
Today, I had a very nice conversation with A. A has been in the process of ripping himself apart and rebuilding himself in a way that he likes better. I did a similar thing during high school, but it wasn’t anywhere near as dramatic as him. But he’s happier now, and I am glad. He’s one of the most honest, truly kind people I know.
Yesterday, I had a flash feaver of 102, and skipped out on classes to sleep and take Tylenol. I feel much better now.
